Emotions and Environments

 I'm in kitchen at my client's house.  My Day Job is caring for folks that need some help staying in their home rather than going into a managed care facility.  It is honorable work, and desperately undervalued and underpaid.

So, my client is in his well lit bedroom, happily watching Harry Potter, Another member of the household is in their well lit hobby room enjoying a break from taking care of my client.  The third member of the household is, by my observation in a state of grief and depression, I am not a psychiatrist, or psychologist.  I am someone who has had depression and still has to manager her mental well being.  I know the signs: naps on and off all day, watches TV or plays on their tablet when not sleeping, lights off, eats poorly.  

I feel for this person, but, at the same time, this environment is deleterious to my mood.  As they wallow in their own miasma, they drag me down with them.  It becomes harder each day to walk in the door and be the cheerful professional that I try to be. The job itself isn't that hard, but there is an emotional toll,  My client is a young man suffering from a degenerative disease,  He will not get better, and I spend five hours a day with this gentleman, and watch his decline.  I listen to his family members talk about him, I see the strain in their eyes and sadness,  I'm not cold hearted enough to have this not effect me,  So, with all of that, to be in a dark room with someone who is hurting so badly and refuses to do anything about it, is frustrating to say the least.

As I have been dealing with my own depression, I have been trying to get caught up on improving my environment in my own home.  It's amazing how much keeping a clean, well-lit living space makes the entire rest of the world just seem better.  Eating food that is good for you and has flavor.  Getting out of the house, and engaging with other people makes a huge difference in my mood.  Some days, it's a lot harder than others.  

Keeping a good environment will not solve your problems, it won't cure your depression,  And,  the effort to get and keep your environment clean and well-lit may seem herculean. But it helps.  I know it seems such a small thing, but, when I am having a bad day, or a bad week; When my emotions and circumstances are overwhelming, just doing my dishes, or laundry, or vacuuming, gives me a sense of accomplishment, something to feel good about.  

The trick is to keep adding small accomplishments to small accomplishments until you create a safe, clean environment.  Add that to working on your internal healing and life doesn't seem so grim.

Peace, Dudes